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    Our neighbor is a Russian spy

    This summer my neighbor did not go to have a rest in a vacation home, she married and went abroad. The keys to the house, she handed me with a warning that the bus goes there once a week. Not believing that these days so remote places are exist, I put on russian spy t-shirt and started to explore new places.

    Bus suspiciously rolled off the track on the lost back road, gone farther and farther from civilization. The bus stopped in such dense place that I began to fear that I was kidnapped. Other passengers this fact does not bother, they just wondered why this guy in russian spy t-shirt can not sit still.

    Everything really looked as telling a neighbor: tranquil, picturesque town. One bad thing: this village do not have a store. In the house I also did not find anything to eat, the neighbor doesn’t kept stocks of food to not bred mice. I wonder what people eat here? I decided to invite friends who had a car. My friends very easily seduce natural beauty and unlimited freedom of action, at the same time on the way to convince them to buy more food.

    Phone somehow did not catch the signal. In the ringing silence, I heard shuffling footsteps in the street. It was the first passer-by for all the time of my stay here, and who knows when the next. Afraid to miss him, I'm not wasting a second, jumped up on the fence and shouted out an elderly passerby:
    - Grandpa, is your mobile phone all right?
    - Why would I? Provider does not work.

    So discovered another nuisance: a village located in a valley, so the mobile communications are virtually absent. So, no food until the next arrival of the bus I can not get out of here - we must find a way to call. I had to climb onto the roof, but this was not enough height. My last hope was a tall pear tree growing in the yard. At the risk of break my neck, I got almost to the top. Hence I was able to get through, but with great difficulty: communication often broke off, I could barely make out the words of the interlocutor, every sentence had to be repeated several times.

    In desperation, I started to shout loudly into the phone, as it is sometimes shown in old movies. Imagine this scene: sitting on top of the tree man in russian spy t-shirt sends secret data to the whole district. And, of course, the list of products that I repeatedly yelled into the phone - it is nothing like a spy encrypted code. Enlisting the consent of the friend, I began cautiously descend from the tree.

    Below I was waited by the whole delegation. Half the village had gathered, but not with empty hands. Hearing what I'm broadcasting in the whole neighborhood, they understand the problem and decided to help out the newfound neighbor as they can. Someone brought a homemade sausage, smoked fish, one pickled mushrooms, some fresh cucumbers and tomatoes, whence come the jar of homemade wine, milk, cheese, fruit and cakes straight from the oven.

    In general, when a friend rushed to the car with bags from the supermarket in the trunk to save me from starvation, I was waiting for them at home lavishly set table, headed by the guest of honor in russian spy t-shirt. Such villages really exist in our days!

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